Shapeshifter: a new chapter begins.

"The new chapter in my life has just begun. It's payback time!"

Finally got my new uniform, a change in lifestyle, and a better me.


After everything I've gone through, all the hardest challenges and experiences, now is the time to bounce back a notch higher and catch up the heights and the test of time.

Every character in this new chapter had been set off from the previous one, already have adjusted and am ready to catch up. I already have stood up and ready to face 2-3 years of this new chapter.

For everyone's knowledge: Yes, I already have shifted to AB Economics, under the UST Faculty of Arts and Letters and just got approved last first week of july.

I asked for a sign on what to pursue, and hopefully it all lead me to AB Economics. After 2 weeks, i merely understood why I am in AB-Eco, i somehow find it interesting and i guess fits me as well, even though culture shock really striked my first week in AB. wooh.



It's payback time.

I finally had the courage to walk around wearing the new uniform (thanks arch :D), for at first, i really feel that everyone seems to be staring at me and having some questions in their mind. I got excited to visit a few friends and surprise them with what happened, and I never fail to hear them shout, hug me, and whatever reaction. So thankful for their support along the way.

as i begin this new chapter, I will always keep in mind some thoughts and lessons about the previous. Joko even told me that he will watch my move and keep on track that it will never happen to me again, and I've got someone to accompany me all along, she never failed to cheer me up, thank you Karen :D

to everyone, i will always be the same me, only better. I will rebuild my life and make it better, hopefully i can hang out again with my close friends like before. though still i still have few months to make myself that stable, i've got to focus on my academics and get pretty high grades, hopefully even now that my subjects are so interesting.

and i can say that i am happy deep inside, so fulfilled with what happened. Thanks!



now that i've been given a chance, i've got to prove myself and be able to aim my target right.

Back to Square One?

I heard my mom over the phone with her bestfriend, and i don't like what she said.

I know its supposed to be my final year in college, but things did not worked out as i wanted it to be. My cousins of my same level are already set on their final year, and i couldn't say that i still have 2 to 3 years to finish college. Even my father don't know that i'll be extending his duties to pay my tuition.

I'm hesitating to talk about it with some of my friends, i know they have their own problems and the fact that nobody understands my situation except those who really experiencing it (thanks kevin)

Its that, I'm afraid to lose everything, what i have right now, where i am in... I don't want to have another life, and again return to square one.

it may be a good opportunity, but no thanks. :(

Mid-Crisis Report

its the 2nd month of the challenge and i haven't posted for a quite a while now, for the problem keeps on getting worse.


CRISIS REPORT OVERVIEW:
I haven't got anything good to say yet. i tried everything, as in everything possible to make things right, but as long as that old lady is sitting there in that office, things will always be this way. Got to find another plan, and do it quickly. (Read: She sucks bigtime)



There are 5 major issues to consider as of date:


Family
I've been hiding everything to them, they don't know the trials i am currently undertaking, except for my mom, she knows almost everything but not all. Earlier, we had a dinner at my aunt's house. its me, mom, dad, my cousin and my aunt and uncle - a talk over red wine. I almost spill everything up, and i don't know what to say, but thank God my dad wasn't able to guess things about me.



Responsibilities
i guess i really have to pause everything up after this coming project, just for now since i already have started it. I don't want to hang everything just because of my situation, i don't want to get their concern but at times i wonder if they can help me in my problem. i guess only moral support is what they can offer. i am just hanging on because of persons whom i have trusted and who needs me. I know they already have observed that i'm starting to detach from the group, but i am not going to totally get out as long as i am still finding a solution to this problem.



Commitment and Friends
There would be no commitment for us, but we will be hanging on with each other, thank you for being there for me. :)

I miss my friends. I wasn't able to show up and got to hand with them for some reasons that i can't explain to them. If it wasn't for this stupid problem, i'll be glad to show up and hang out again.



Persons who depended on me, and those whom I expected
I always thought that they all would help me in this problem but as times pass by, only few submerged to be true to their words. I thought that the powerful generals on the field would help me, but i guess they would always be worthless signatures. She should've kept her word when she said that she'll really help me, coming from a respected officer.

What happened to those whom i expected to help and guide me and who will help back? they already forgot that i'm still stuck here.



Unfair Bureaucracy
Yes, its unfair. Others will think why am i saying this one. I know that everyone seemed to have been benefited with such, but what sucks is that others don't deserve to be helped. I played with the system - true, but i know that i worked hard for it, i deserved to be treated with such.

I've been humiliated quite a few times now in front of those bloated second-class bureaucrats. They say things to me as if i'm just a puny little stupid person, but hey, I don't need to cry and kneel to them, heck, they don't deserve me. I was just forced to be nice to them, but what happened the other day will be the last.



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Only few days remaining, and a few more problems can kill me.